In this you will just see me
by AndyMine
Summary: Part of the looking for Ianto in all the wrong places collection. Jack finds himself on a desert planet after he submits to the boxes whim and his need to find a version of Ianto he can love. But things are never easy for Jack Harkness.
1. Chapter 1

_In this you will see just me._

The sun burst on the barren sand making the heat seep into my boots as I struggled to get somewhere. Anywhere would do as long as my heart was at peace with Ianto. God, I didn't know the reason for this place just as a soul, a bitter white soul, flush once in manhood stood blank on the new canvas of the world before him. He maybe here, he may not, somehow it may lead me home. That home was once held in Ianto's heart. The box was safe inside the steamy lining of the Greatcoat. Wool of all things was not the best choice to be wearing in the desert.

I was parched from the lack of water. Me, the one who never didn't drink enough before. I knew it must have been a forced teleport that dropped me into a desert wasteland on a remote planet called Angarbar. Kind of exotic when you get a chance think about it, reminds me those old Earth stories. Those lost souls that have to travel to a land of milk and honey but have to first die to eat the fruits of the Gods. I loved so many of those tales with a passion. I use to love to read Kubla Kahn to Ianto. If the mood suited him, he would recite it in Welsh. I would lie on my side sipping a brandy, sheet draped over my middle as he would speak naked in front of me.

I can't afford to think of him now. If I do, my mind will forget how to survive and my body will wilt in this blast furnace of a land. I know I can't stay dead, but I can keep on dying, so being out in the sun only to revive freezing to death in the desert night chill then revive to repeat the process is not my idea of a good time. But at this rate it maybe the only good time I may have.

I could feel the effects of the sun even as I ripped part of my shirt to wrap around my head; the need for water was growing more imperative. Why the hell was I forced into the doorway to here? This seems like the least likely spot to find a lost Ianto. I guess that girl knows what is going on. I certainly don't, letting my broken heart lead me astray. I watched the heat from the midday sun weave patterns in front of me. Sweat fell into my eye, soaked through from the shirt trying to keep my brain from frying. It was working. No it really wasn't working but I thought I could be convinced otherwise.

I have read about heatstroke and mirages but never felt the first or witnessed the later. But the need for water morphed into a dream. I saw about 100 feet away what looked like a pond amongst the growing sand dunes. I started to run to the oasis. When I came close enough I leapt to jump into the cool water like some kid at a swimming pool during a hot day.

It failed to be a pool of cool water; the mouthful of sand confirmed that. I got up, smashing my fist into the sand with fury. It was then I noticed that I was 50 feet off from the source of my desire. The pond was staring at me, begging me to drink of it. I got up, laughing and brushing the sand off my body.

I was just about to run to it again when a voice stopped me. "Jack, can you be so sure that one is real?" I could hear the smile at the end of my companion's words.

"Ianto?" I swiftly moved my head around to see my Welshman standing suit clad next to me with not so much as a sweaty stain on his face or clothing. "What are you saying? Most important, how are you saying it?"

He turned his head from the distant gaze of the pond to look at me with his deep-set bluish eyes. They were bluer then I remembered it was always a trick of the light with his eye color change. But his soul was the same. That look one has deep in the soul. He was wiser than his years and yet scared as if new to it all. Endless Ianto, so handsome, so…

"Because I am an illusion, and because I have always been with you, you just chose not to listen to me. I've been reaching for you Jack, trying to make you happy. I never thought I would hurt you like this. The thought of my death would wound you so, as if you are beyond repair. Here in the middle of a desert planet looking for what? Me? Jack if you run fast you could catch the water up ahead. But it is fleeting."

I laughed like a madman, running off the rest of my strength on the way to the pond up ahead, leaving Ianto behind. I took a leap of faith and landed face first in a patch of sand. It was there I cried waterless tears and gave my aching burning body to the sun above and the hot coarse sand below.

I never believed in miracles until a trip in a blue box showed me what it was all about. But even then my life has been borrowed even if it is forever. I still live on something else's time. By that something else, I felt softness under me. Cool and silky, I could feel a sense of comfort. My head was hurting, but the ache from dehydration that I felt in my bones and muscles seemed to have passed. I felt a smile on my face but dare not open my eyes. This might be a trick of Death's and I was still in his hold. Maybe this time it was real. The smile grew wider at the thought that maybe my borrowed time was up.

I could hear movement around my silky surroundings. Despite the pain I forced my eyes open to whatever fate I landed in this time. It was a surprise to find I was looking at lots of blurry color. The tent I was in was full of color, soft rest full hues of the whole spectrum. I shifted slightly hearing the muted rustle of the fabric my bones rested on. I was very weak from the desert. My lips were parched dry and very salty in taste. It was with muted vision, eyes out of focus still for actual shapes, that I noticed I was not alone. The form knelt down next to the bed and with the rise of my head poured a sweet tasting liquid passed my cracked lips and down my sore throat.

"That will help you recover a bit." He waited before giving me a little more and then a water chaser. I ran my tongue over the sores on my lips and strained to see the kind person that helped me. "Give it time, your sight will come back. My Master found you staring at the sun." He put something on my eyelids to sooth them and gently lifting my head he wrapped a soft material round my head covering my eyes. "The tribe was surprised that you were still alive."

I could tell now that his voice was male. His touch seemed human as well as he cooled me further with a wet cloth. His hands wandered over my body with the cooling grace from the soothing fabric. Waking me up a bit more was his breath on my skin, blowing the hurt away as the wetness calmed the hot flesh. I shuddered blind sighted to the one exciting me and moaned at the tender caress.

" Are you still in pain or am I hurting you?" He questioned.

"No it feels too good; I think that I might still be suffering from sunstroke. I'm embarrassed at my reaction." I wiggled slightly under the cover as his hand went somewhere I didn't expect. I felt a different heat this time. I was stimulated by a voice I couldn't see the face of and whose hand caressed me.

"My Master said I was to serve you. I am to aid your recovery in any way. If you want I could bring you to climax?" His voice was nothing but pleasing if not somewhat mechanical. He was trained to serve. He did say master. I felt stupid when I realized what he was.

"You're a slave?" I said stopping his hand and moving it off my body.

Even though I couldn't see his face, I cursed myself for unintentionally hurting him. It was something in the sound of his movement that alerted me to his change in posture. It would seem like he was disappointed as much as he was ashamed.

"Yes, since I was a young boy. I have served my Master in many ways. I am his favorite. Well, I was. He has another, now. I shouldn't have said that." He turned to rise up but I grabbed at his hand.

"Wait, I'm sorry I didn't mean to suggest anything. I'm not looking down at you; it is just that I didn't think it through. I'm sorry, don't go. I mean, sit with me a bit. I would like to talk." The truth was I was blind and needed help. I also liked the way this man touched me.

"I was ordered to tend to you. So I can't go anyway. I was just moving to another part of the tent to give you space. I didn't mean to stimulate you. I meant no disrespect. Please don't tell my Master that I do not please you." His breath brushed my exposed chest. On reflex my hand rose to the sound of his voice, fearful that he was not pleasing, and I touched his cheek.

"Your skin is silky like the sheets," I found myself saying. I felt sleepy. "Please, I want you to stay." I yawned twice then drifted off to almost sleep. My hand still feeling his skin, I asked his name.

"I have but one name that I have been called. Otnai, it means 'by one's side through time'." I could feel his hand in mine as he bathed my face again. "I gave you a sleeping draft, orders of the doctor, he said you need rest. Sleep my prince from another place."

Otnai said something else, but all I remembered was his kiss on my chapped lips that sent me to a dreamless sleep.

_End part 1 TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

He ran to me in the light, arms wide yelling for me to wait for him. He couldn't catch up to me for every time I stopped moving, he fell further back. I tried to go back for him but the same thing happened. We were not allowed to get closer. Something, some kind of force held us back from connecting. Ianto threw his hands up in frustration as he realized that this was never going to work. I watched him slip further and further away into the darkness behind him.

"_I'll find another way Jack, I promise. Just don't forget me. I love you!" He yelled the last part causing it to echo around the lit room I was in. _

_I heard a child's laughter before the place where I was in darkened. I was again alone in the empty dark waiting for him. _

I heard shuffling in the room as I came back from the drug-induced sleep I was in. At first I wondered why it was dark, my internal clock sense had it about mid morning. Then it hit me I still had the bandages on. My weary body struggled to sit up. It was then a helping hand came to prop me up with more soft silken pillows. "Otnai?" I ventured as I caught wind of his spicy smell I had noticed earlier.

"Yes, my Prince, I'm here. The doctor was by earlier. He said that you are recovering, but your eyes have to remain covered. They are not a hundred percent yet." He pressed the smooth clay like cup to my lips. I sipped the sweet tasting juice that I had been given before. I must have made a yummy noise for he gave me more. The sweet tasted slid down my throat filling me with a surge of energy.

"That is good! What is it?" I was reached for the spot where his arm would be and brushed my hand against his skin. He felt warm and alive and I finally concluded very human.

"It is Yuma nectar, it will return the vitamins and minerals you lost to the sun." He wiped the drip on my lips with a cloth; fingertips lingered there for a brief second. "Your color is better, not a burnt shade like before. Surprisingly you didn't burn that much. When my Master found you he said you had some flesh charred off, but when they got you here, the doctor said it wasn't as bad as they thought. The salves we have are very quick to heal wounds. It is the eyes, they a slightly more delicate. That will take time." He moved away leaving a feeling of absence on the bed.

Something about him was getting to me. I don't know though the accent was new, his voice seemed to sound like someone else.

"I'll have to thank your Master soon. It is not often that kindness is extended to strangers in any part of the universe."

"My Master's people are very kind to those in need. Besides, he thinks you are handsome despite the burns. I think he is expecting another form of a thank you. He is awaiting for you to heal before he takes his payment." The tone sent a shiver up my spine. Ontai stopped talking as water was being poured into what sounded like a metal bowl. I smelled a flower, almost Jasmine, aroma enter my area with the approach of the soft-footed man. Even in the dark, I could tell he had a grace in his step.

"You're a dancer, right?" I guessed. I could have been wrong, but something about him was to musical in his walk. He was smooth with his steps that much I could hear.

As if I could see him through the blindfold I could feel a smile on his face. "Either you are very good at guessing or you have an inner sense. Yes, that was my main function. My father trained me. He showed me this skill in dance with the hope of selling me. My Master traveled a bit before he showed up in our village. He saw me dance and fell for my magic in each step. I was sold to him for plenty, allowing my siblings to have a better life. It has been over 15 turns of the world since then." His voice fell quieter at the last part. He removed my covers.

I felt exposed; I knew I had nothing on. I was embarrassed for I knew that his presence was making me a little excited. I wondered if it showed. He didn't mention it if it did. "Do you miss them? It must have been a shock to change your life."

"I don't even remember them." He wrung the cloth out that he had soaked in the sweet water and lifted my arm to wash it. It felt cooling to my tender newly formed skin. I tilted my head in his direction imagining what his sad face would look like. Something about him just made me think of Ianto. It was then that Ianto's image became Otnai's face. Maybe more with a tan, somehow it didn't seem like the wrong way to go.

"That must have been rough on you. He didn't, I mean your Master didn't do anything to you then." I was aware how this worked. Slaves had no rights. The Elite would take even children to their bed if they desired. He was after all property now and a young boy would need to be trained at a young age. It was sickening to think that it still went on. But it did.

He rubbed my chest with the cloth, pausing to wring it out and soak it again. He slowly moved his hand under my arm and down the side before the next time he dipped the cloth. "He didn't right away. I was made to dance for his pleasure at first. I had training to enhance me but no one touched me in that way until I was older. He was the first to have me but another enhanced my training. I was my Master's alone for many years; he shared me only for guests that he needed to woo in business deals. Don't make that face." He brought the cloth to my mouth and gently rubbed my lips and face with it. I caved into his touch. I could hear his smile again as he spoke. "It is what I do for him. My time is almost over here. I'm getting old. Maybe he will elevate me to dance instructor for his next concubine. She is going to be a beauty when she matures. Perhaps she will give him another child. Something I couldn't do for him." The cloth ran over my forehead before it was returned to the bowl.

"I have said too much, I must being boring my Prince to tears." He laughed at little. There it was, that familiar laugh. I swear it could have been Ianto. I think it was a trick of the mind. All this fluff, nose pleasing odors and soft cushions to comfort the drug-hazed man was finally taking a toll on me.

"Never. I don't get bored easily. Besides I love a good story, especially if it is about a real person." I smiled, bringing his hand to trace my lips. It sent a shiver straight to my groin.

I never know why I reach for these things; I just had to know what he tasted like. I was still weak from the whole death experience but I just wanted to touch his face. I traced the patterns of eye and brow, wandering with gentle fingers over his close lids down his nose and over his lips. I found charm in his cheekbones and at the contour of his ears to be round with almost small and delicate swirls. It was a face I knew, or very similar to Ianto's, that is what I was leading myself to believe.

He stayed still, letting me explore trying not to indicate he felt any pleasure from this action. But I could smell the increase in his desire. He was aroused. I kneaded my legs together as I became more turned on by his growing desire. As if he read my mind, face inches away from me at this point, he pressed his lips against mine. I reacted by taking his mouth with a greedy hunger that came from missing contact for so long.

We merged our lips together, slick with spit increasing our desire even more. It was then I could taste him, almost chocolate flavor that was extremely close to the way I remembered Ianto tasting. I stopped the kiss then and my body was not happy with my decision.

"Is it a trained reaction to touch or do you really want me?" It fell out of my mouth before I could stop it. I felt bad about it. I knew if I didn't stop it now that it would get out of control. I was still emotionally battle weary, not able to take Otnai without some type of longing for Ianto. If it did happen it wouldn't be because his master wanted it or because I had a dream of Ianto. It would because we both wanted each other.

"Is there a difference?" He asked, leaning in to take my mouth. His answer was tart, almost bitter.

"Yes," I pushed him away reaching for the covers. I could hear his displeasure in his movements as I turned on my side away from him, effectively ending the bath and anything else that may have happened. He removed the bowl from the table and went returning it to the other side of the tent. I could hear a difference in his steps as he began to clean up. It sounded almost sad, like pained.

"I will take my leave now. I will be back in a bit with food and some more sleeping draught." With a swish of the current of air over the tent entrance, he left.

I tried to sleep but it was hard when Ianto's face kept looking at me like a kicked puppy. I felt so bad for hurting Otnai that when he came back I would explain my reaction to him. The thought of telling him of my lost Welshman brought a deep sadness to my bandages eyes. If they were free I knew there would be tears.

Sometime later it was not Otnai that brought me food and medicine but a woman that seemed small, almost child-like.

"Where's Otnai?" I asked, dreading the answer. If he was given to me not only as a nursemaid but as sex toy and he didn't do his job… "Answer me. What happen to him?" I pushed the spoon away in anger, causing the soup to spill on the bedding.

She seemed to bow her head in fear of my rage, cleaning the liquid off the sheets. I felt horrible knowing it was not she I lashed out at but my own helplessness from being without sight.

"I'm sorry. Just something happened, well really didn't happen and I wanted to make sure that he wasn't being punished for my actions." I went to place a hand on her head and missed it.

I could tell that she began to relax with the apology. The spoon was once again at my mouth feeding me my lunch. It wasn't long until I had my answer.

"He is performing for some business guest of the Master's. I think he will be with them all night. I could tell him of your concern if you would like. My Master said he would be here as soon as his important guest retires with Otnai. I should be able to get a message to him before he is otherwise occupied." She wiped my mouth spooning more soup into me.

I was sick to learn that he would be part of a business deal. The thought of him with someone else was maddening. I was not the jealous type, it was more than that, I was hurting because he had to do it, not that he wanted to. I was beginning to wonder if he knew the difference. With his upbringing he would not have had the chance to understand that type of freedom.

"Sir, are you okay? I could get the doctor if you are in pain." The woman must have seen my pained expression and assumed it was from my injuries.

It wasn't, I was hurting for a person who didn't know how to hurt or feeling used by someone, who may never see that what he was turned into was wrong. He should have been a happy boy at play, falling in love when ready. Not trained as a slave for the pleasure of others. I suddenly became aware of what I must do. Teach Otnai the truth and show him that he was more than a slave. When I got better, I would get him out of here. That, I promised.

"Tell him I miss him, and I await his return to my tent." It was said in the traditional words of the people of this world. Over time you pick up a thing or to, one was to understand and respect the customs of others even if you don't agree with them. I didn't agree with a slave world but I had to obey their codes. At least for now, that was the plan.

She agreed to it and finished feeding me in silence. Sometime later I was given my draught and the sheets were pulled over me as I was tucked in. It was then that The Sheik Alrram Octan Olene made his presence known with a loud announcer.

He stood at the bottom of the bed. Through the cotton gauze around my eyes I could sense where he was looking. His voice seemed hungry. I slid a little further under my thin covers, unconsciously seeking protection. His scent of spice increased as he sat down on the bed.

"The medicine makes you sleep and in time enough of it will make you not want to leave." I must have sobbed a little at his touch feeling the drink ease through my body. I felt helpless unable to move as he went for my crotch without so much as a hello. "A good thing is I can do things to you now and you won't remember any of it. Not even what I am telling you. But you will have dreams, nice sexual dreams. In time you will be conditioned and though you are older, I will keep you because you are a rare and unique beauty. I collect such as you for my pleasures." He kissed me once. Without hesitation, my body in control by something else, I kissed him back unaware that I was becoming a slave. For a brief moment Ontai appeared in Ianto's form. His hair was longer than Ianto's, which I discovered early from my explorations, but his voice, was that of Alrram who was of right now having his way with me.

_End part 2. TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

_I was so hard. Ianto was doing his best at playing keep away. He was running around the Hub in all his delicious nakedness while I suffered. He was quick tonight, determined to keep me as far away as possible. The ache in my groin was pushing its limits as I mounted in desire. His naked dance was enticing me in such ways I went to touch myself just to show him that I was close to exploding all over the Hub. _

_He noticed the look on my face and stopped his play. He came to me with his arms open making sure we brushed each other as we kissed roughly. I could taste the sweets we had early on his teeth as I plunged my tongue deep in his mouth. Flesh on flesh, our throbbing members rubbed together. We pushed into each other harder allowing the friction need to escalate the pleasure. It wasn't long that the kiss broke into pants as we let our weight lean into each other. _

_Our hips and groins jutted back and forth pounding into each other; the feeling was most welcomed. We just held on, leaning our heads on the other's shoulders. I sought the spot between his neck and his ear I knew made Ianto wanton. He in turn did the same with my shoulder between the neck and collar bone, he discovered it one day and he knew as long as he sucked on it, he could do no wrong. _

_We were close, so close and yet it seemed to go on forever. I loved playing with Ianto. There were things about him that never got trying. I could grow bored with a lover faster than spit dried. In time most got too clingy or even I became the same way. It was hard to stay interested in a commitment. But Ianto, I never grew bored with him. He kept pulling me in with his sea blue eyes, drowning my soul and leaving me abandoned on the island of desire. _

_With much regret I came, he close behind me hips still moving only slowly allowing the heat between us to cool as we came down from our sexual high. He was laughing, I didn't understand why. Then it dawned on me. "My face?" I asked. _

"_Yes, you have a way of pulling at my heartstrings. God, you are a conman all right. I fell for that one."_

"_Ianto, do you really believe that for a moment I would con you with a face to come and get me off? Really, that is ridiculous." I smoothed back his hair to stare into his eyes. _

"_Yes, I do." He laughed, giggling as his face lit up crinkling the corners of his eyes in happiness as he caught my gaze._

"_You're right it was a trap, one that I'm glad you went along with." He was the one that kissed first. It didn't matter who finished it after that. We were too busy again to care. _

I was awoken to the sound of my bed sheets being removed from my waist. A cloth was cleaning me gently. It was still dark as my mind finally focused on the place I was at. The draught I was given made me groggy. This time I couldn't remember the last time I was awake. The hand that was cleaning me was concentrating on my genitals. It was unnerving and I went to push the person away.

"You had an accident. It must have been some dream, My Prince." It was Otnai cleaning me.

"It was." I let him finish his work, scratching at the bandages. I tried not to think of the dream. I was more concerned that I know time passed, but I had no memory to how it passed or what happened. It was really starting to grate on me that I seemed to have lost some memory. Was I asleep that long? "You were away from me for awhile, right?" I could remember the girl, she was feeding me soup, and then something happened. I was greeted by a flash in the form of a sensation of being touched by rough hands. But that was it, my mind couldn't recall much more.

"My Master needed my skills for a business deal. I hope the girl wasn't too upsetting. I should have asked her to be nicer. I think she gave you too much of your draught, you were in a deep sleep. You called out 'Ianto' before you released." He said this as if it always happened. Nothing embarrassing to him about a wet dream, he must be use to it from serving others.

"Oh, I see. I thought that someone else came to see me. I seem to recall another. I must have been dreaming." He rubbed a cool lotion on to my chest making me moan as he swirled his hand down to my groin. "That feels good. Don't stop this time." Something made me go towards this with him. My blood was on fire and his hand brushing into my returning hardness made me shudder. I wanted more then a hand job. I want to have him.

He must have sensed the change in me for I heard clothes being removed. He shifted himself over my body, pulling my hands to his chest to touch him. His skin was silk, his nipples were standing hard already; he hissed as I touched them. He moved my hands down his thin stomach and girlish hips. He must be so beautiful to the eye. "I wish I could see you. You feel amazing." He didn't try to kiss me, though that is what I wanted. It had been a long time since I felt urges like this. I was wondering if it was the dream playing havoc with my mind and senses as I grabbed hold of him. Its skin was soft as the rest of him. He was ready and willing so fast. Unfortunately, it was the mark of a trained sex slave to have such quick response to the need of the one he was serving. I almost stopped him. My body was in need now. I couldn't stop myself from wanting him. So much to my shame, I let it continue.

My heart raced as I felt his body shift again. He lifted his bottom up, mounting me. He grunted when we joined. I heard him pant slightly catching his breath as the sensation of our union ran through his body. He began to delicately rise up and down.

"Oh god Otnai, you're fucking amazing. Not too fast, I feel close already." I wanted to flip him over on his back, but his narrow hips seemed strong enough to force me to stay where I was. My own hands ran over his chest feeling the tension growing in his muscles. He sucked in air with a hiss as I manipulated him to a climax. It wouldn't be long until we were both pushed over the top.

When it finally happened, the light shone in the darkness as synapses of color like fireworks appeared in my darkened world. I almost could see him breathing heavily above me. I sent him over the top as he yelled out "Jack" at the top of his lungs from my final thrust.

He didn't move off me for some time. When he finally did, Otnai spoke. "I will wash you again, My Prince." He couldn't leave, with all my remaining strength I went for him. Pulling him down to my face, I took a kiss from his sex sweaty lips. I sought his tongue while he relaxed into my mouth. We didn't stop kissing until we both drifted off in the afterglow of sex content in each other's arms.

I awoke again to an empty bed but the smell of food cooking. "Otnai?" I called out.

"I'm just preparing your lunch today. The doctor said you could have some meat with your meal. Can't you smell it?" He laughed a little.

I could feel the smile on my face brighten at his laugh. I removed the cover and went to stand. He didn't seem to stop me. My legs were a little shaky for I believed it had been many days since I walked. I could hear Otnai shuffling around so I moved towards that sound gradually and careful not to fall or trip on something.

"Follow my voice, the path is clear." He said as the meat sizzled and crackled filling the air with even greater aromas. As soon as I was closer, he led me to a table with a plate. He showed me where the utensils were and the cup so I could feed myself.

"Thank you, I was beginning to feel like a burden. Do you think we could get some air after lunch? I still want to thank your Master for this wonderful care." I heard something fall. I went to stand to see if I could help.

"I can be such a klutz. Please, I got it; just stay in your seat. Lunch is ready." He elegantly put the plate down, I could tell. He went back to take care of whatever he dropped while I blindly put food in my mouth.

It tasted good so I didn't ask what it was. It felt so good to bite into solid food that it could have been roasted dung and I wouldn't have cared. I held the fork in front of my mouth contemplating that. My hungry stomach won over reason and I dug in.

"Aren't you going to eat with me? I would like the company." Besides I started thinking that naughty things could be done with food. I would love to watch his face as I stuck the fork in his mouth. Ianto used to love naked lunch; he used to love naked anything. Suddenly I was aware that I just compared the two, or I was trying to get Otnai to the same place as Ianto. My mind was a haze all of a sudden. Was I making love to Otnai before or was it Ianto's memory?

"If My Prince desires it to be so, I will join you as requested." He sat down across from me with a new plate of food. I tried to gauge where he was so I could pretend to be looking at him.

"Before, did you enjoy it? I was hoping it pleased you Otnai. But I wish my mind wasn't so confused by the sleeping draught." I reached to grab his hand. He moved it closer so we could meet.

"I am not allowed to say if I was pleased or not. My reactions are taught. I'm not sure what I am supposed to feel. I know it was pleasing to know you were satisfied. So I guess that is enjoyment." I heard him take a sip out of his cup.

He did it for me, he just responded to my need and did what had to be done. I felt detached again from this place. I got up and made my way back to the bed to wait my sleeping draught. I figured that there was no chance of going outside. All of a sudden I was feeling uneasy. Confusing as this was, I was hoping that I didn't have to stay to figure out my emotions. Tomorrow, maybe the cloth would come off. And I could leave this pain behind. I for one didn't know how to help a man who never knew any different than the life he was shown. Maybe it was for the best that Otnai stayed as blind to the truth as I was to his world.

He moved to the bed and lay down with me. "I'm not allowed to express feelings; if I could, I would to you. I know this Ianto weighs heavy on your soul." He paused to put the covers over us. He leaned in to tell me, pretending to kiss me as he spoke in hushed tones of a lover. "I also know that in a way it was him that you wanted to be with earlier. Jack, I want to help get away, but right now you have to be patient to our ways here. I don't know any different. But I do know that you are different from anyone I have known." Placing soft kisses on my ear he said the words that frightened me the most. It was then I knew I had find out what was going on. "We are being watched."

_End Part 3_


	4. Chapter 4

I lay there breathing hard as Otnai used his magic fingers massage my chest with fine oil. Its ginger like smell was bringing me to a calm center after his whispers of "We are being watched." If whoever was watching wanted a show, I was game. I also was taking the draught in a lesser quantity. I imagine that Otnai was responsible for that. But being in a weakened state from lack of a real meals and no fresh air, I was succumbing its effects. I moaned as I felt his mouth lick at my tip. He was teasing me but I let him, sucking in air as he pulled away. I wanted to grab him and pull him down under me. I saw in my mind me pulling him to the bed and having my way with him. I moved my hips as the fantasy started to run its course. Before long I reached for myself. I was a rock of flesh, sensitive from the extra blood that gathered there. I caressed myself feeling my face grow hotter. God, it was magic with Otnai pinching my nipples.

"Is bath time always going to end this way, my friend?"

"Friend. Is that what you call this, friendship? I don't know what this means." He removed my hand and replaced it with his mouth. He positioned himself on the bed for a better angle, his mouth was warm and I knew from kissing him it was sweet and almost fruity. Without warning he took me in all the way, making me pump my hips a little at the sensation. I sucked in more air and moaned out the response.

I was rubbing my hands on firm rounded butt cheeks, so similar to Ianto's that I could see that beautiful man in my mind giving me head. But that was how it had been lately. Otnai felt like he looked like Ianto. I could feel the similarity in his features and the shape of his body. His hair was longer and somewhat softer. It was straight and fine while Ianto's was coarser with a little curl. But the faces were the same; you don't sleep just about live with some one for almost 3 years and not be able to trace a face out. Sex games are more than just getting off, they are to learn and find unique ways of making love. I for one loved blind man's bluff. I had some of the greatest of moments with Ianto just feeling his whole being under my hands.

Still hot and bothered, I coaxed Otnai to move on the bed laying next to me for a bit of 69. I waited until he was comfortable before I went to work on him. He was warming up to me and even without sight; I could tell he was enjoying himself. The soft sounds he made vibrated through his mouth making me strive to please him further. I just wanted to bring some kind of happiness to him.

I thought about the sun, being under trees with a warm breeze caressing our slippery skin hot from loving each other. I wanted nothing more than to look into his eyes, see that smile. It was almost perfect, the image I had of him but something snapped. I wanted to know his eye color.

I nuzzled up to his hard on burring my lips into the soft fragrant tuff of hair. I vented my words hoarse from passion. "Otnai what color are your eyes?" I placed gentle kisses around the soft hair by his belly button.

He paused for a long moment, whimpering a little with the sensation.

"I don't know," he said with a coolness I have gotten use to. "My eyes were removed as a young child to prepare me for servitude. Visual castration it is called. A hot commodity is the sale of blind slaves. And a blind dancer, that can take care of a family for a long time." I stopped what I was doing as the fear ran through my body. I fought the choking feeling as I removed my mouth from his stomach. "My father did it himself, he filled me full of some alcohol and just took them out. I don't even remember what the last thing I saw was." His statement was with out emotion, not even regret, he continued his mouth work as my member began to shrink.

"Stop, just stop it." I pulled away from his mouth and sat up almost unbalancing him off the bed. He rustled the sheets in frustration as he sat up waiting for me to say something.

I couldn't talk as my heart was beating in my throat. They took a little kid and removed his eyes to make him a more desirable? What monster could do that to his son?

I didn't know what to say as my own frustrated mind played tricks on me. It wasn't Ianto that came to me in my dreams. I knew now it was the Sheik. He was always fondling, getting me to submit under the draught. And then I started to sweat the nerves spread through my body as I thought of the little child being blinded by force for money. I heard Otnai's words that my eyes had not yet healed. I swallowed hard and went to remove the blindfold.

Otnai went to stop me his hearing a lot stronger then a sighted man. "No, you mustn't. Please Jack, you know the answer." He stayed my hand and reached for my mouth with his lips. "They are no longer there. He had them removed because even though you are older, you are still trainable. As my Master says, 'A beautiful man for pleasure.'" He hugged me tight as I regained my composure. I could heal, my eyes would grow back, but I had a feeling that for health reasons and the fact that it was very dark, my lids were permanently shut.

"You don't understand. I know I can still see." He held on tighter to me as I fumbled at the bandages. He pushed my hand away pulling me into his chest, soothing to calm as the all to familiar draught sensation took hold and I drifted away.

I didn't eat for days. The Sheik in fear of his investment, tied me to the bed for most of the time, the drug poured down my throat to keep me still. It was at night he would come to play with me. I was so lost in darkness of both light and soul that I just let myself go. I didn't care what he did. But I could tell that he was disappointed in my lack of playfulness. I was a limp doll at his touch. He would never get anything out of me. That much I vowed.

Otnai was gone again; an old woman was tending me. I didn't even get up to go to the bathroom. It just kind of happened in the bed most of the time. I was feeling sorry for her having to clean me up all the time. But I was in shock, just plain shock. And as it went I began to kick myself for being stupid and sloppy. I above all people had to be careful. I can be trapped and made vulnerable so easily. So I lay there in self-pity, feeling like the filth I let out of my body to sit in.

She, the woman, was more than tolerant in my mess. She would say in soft words that I had to stop this. If I let him have his way I would be free to move around. After all, wasn't giving in worth a proper meal? My stomach growled as she fed me the small glop the Sheik allowed me. I wished Otnai were here. Dread filled my head as I thought what his slip-ups might have cost him. If he were all right, if they brought him back to me, if I could know he was all right. I would submit to the bastard.

"Tell your Master, no beg for me, that I wish to see him." My voice seemed weak, not the usual strong sound I seemed to command. I was tired of the game. Besides there was someone else I was playing for now. It was for Otnai I took a chance on. And in a way it was for Ianto as well.

_End Part 4_


	5. Chapter 5

The overseer Havite was meticulous in his training of me. The Master was insistent that besides his dedicated corruption of my pride as he called it that I be properly taught what was to be expected of me. It was pain, it was pleasure, and it was the only way I saw to figure out how to get out of this. If I learned my captor's ways, I would be able to get away at some point. It was also my way of finding Otnai. He would be coming with me when all was said and done. That much I promised in my heart.

I learned how to work with the blindness. I was taught how to serve food, to dress, choosing fabrics by texture. I was taught to walk the right way, to tend to a client's needs and to not smile. That was not what they wanted to see. They wanted stone cold beauty built of grace and fluid precise movements. And sex. I was to perform for them and with them. It seemed simple but it wasn't. I was always a free spirit and sex, making love came naturally for me. I even sold it when needed at times most desperate. This kind of sex was not that, it was mechanical.

With Havite I was taught the 'dance.' I was told how to move, when to come, what noises to make and when to comment on the performance of the client. He would use me to demonstrate the proper way to do this, sometimes the whole day until it was right. I never thought I would say this; I was beginning to hate sex.

After that, the Sheik would have me after I was cleaned up and massaged with certain oils both on the skin and inside as well. The client should never have to prepare me - that was not right, unless of course that was his preference to do it. My 'Master' would come into my tent, sometimes drunk and push me over the bed sticking me and pounding into me. He would speak to me in my ear with his foul breath telling me I was perfection, that he thanked the Gods for his fortune. They surely had delivered me to him for he served them well. I was a gift, a treasure to behold. I would tell him he made me happy with his attentions. The words were schooled from Havite's training; never served with a smile to this man, never to showing how much it hurt to lie.

In time I grew use to it, and sometimes enjoyed it letting the pleasure become Ianto at first. At some point it became a longing for Otnai. In my drugged fused mind, they merged as one. And I let myself slip into the abyss, letting go of the loathing I was feeling for myself as thoughts of those two danced through my imagination in forms of fantasy.

When I was alone, I took care of myself. Havite would show up and use me. He would lay there as I gave him head. I would suck at him until he shoved my head down deep checking for my gag reflex. "I'm glad you don't have one Jack, that would be a problem to train out of you. At your age, I'm surprised you have given in. I see our Otnai has charmed you. I'm glad we sent him at the beginning." He moaned as he finished, holding my head down until I swallowed all of him. He gently rubbed my head. I got up to get him some wine. I could feel him watching my movements to make sure I was 'performing' as if he was a client. I knew he just lusted over me. It was why he came back even after the Sheik left. He was in need of me to some degree.

"You have indeed come a long way. You have so much grace. Come to me, forget the wine." He asked. I was beginning to sweat a little. I never heard this tone before with him. It was throaty almost demanding. I was sure I knew what it meant. He wanted at me this time until I grunted out with pleasure.

"As you wish." Putting the wine down, I danced over to him in the manner I was taught. He rose from the bed to greet me halfway. We met in the middle as he kissed my lips before holding me at arms length.

"You earned what is to come next. This should bring your smile back for a time." He laughed a little as the curtains rustled, emitting a familiar smell. Before I could say anything my body reacted, finding myself in Otnai's embrace. He bathed me with kisses as I did him. We hugged on tight to each other smoothing our hands on sections of exposed skin that our tunics didn't cover. I pulled him to my chest, feeling the softness of his hair as my hand rubbed the back of his neck. He buried his head into my shoulder kissing it tenderly with a sigh.

"I was right about you two, very beautiful together, but then I was watching you interact for some time. I love the way you move, almost like a whole being when you touch each other." I heard Havite's smile feeling him head to the tent entrance. "I won't tell him Otnai, Jack, this is because I'm a romantic. There is no reason that after a day's work, you can't be with someone you care for. I wish I could watch." His laugh was robust with gladness. It could still be heard as he left the tent.

"You feel good," I said finding lips of smooth silk with a fruit taste to suck on. " I was worried."

"I thought you would be, but I had no choice. It was awful being away from you. But Havite has promised that we can be together when we are not otherwise busy. Jack, I'm happy, for the first time, I feel something. I feel love for you." His kiss was fire on my sore lips. I didn't pull away though I knew after the day I couldn't give him much more than this.

"Otnai, I can't, not right now. I'm spent, my dear." I whispered in his ear, nipping at the lobe.

He was smiling letting out a laugh. "Good, I can't either. I have no desire after the ten clients I had. The last one's stink took two baths to get off me. I thought some wine with you would be fine. We could lie down on the bed and tell stories. I want to learn about you, Jack. You've been out there, in the world, they say the stars. I want to know all of it every detail my eyes never will see." He smiled into my neck again, kissing my throat.

"Go lay down, I'll get the wine. It has been a long time since I told stories to someone," I said as he broke contact. I listened to his soft patter as he did as I asked. I went to get the wine. No glasses, we would share the bottle instead.

_End Part 5._


	6. Chapter 6

I can feel my eyeballs under the lids as they reform. It took longer than I thought it would. That was saying something. Maybe I'm still recovering after the explosion. I try not to bring myself to those thoughts. I can't help it. I'm already there. The dull throb of the nerves connecting was small in comparison to the white-hot pain from healing after the explosion. The feeling of bone forming followed by muscle being wrapped up in skin. Each nerve connection, to blood beginning to flow where it was needed as pathways of veins knitted together and coursed through my newly made shell that houses my soul. Organs knitting and connecting flowing life back into me were part of my awareness. I felt it all and the blind agony stays imprinted in my being, always a reminder that I am reborn from death in pain, always deep and cutting me again and again.

The eyeballs can be seen or in my case, felt. I wonder how that is going to affect the view for the client. I'm so nervous as to what to do, so I calmly focus on not allowing them to move. They do on their own searching for a way out from under my lids to do the job they were meant to do, see. The more I concentrate, the more they move. I could feel tears puddle in the corners of the closed slits and wonder where they will drain if the ducts continue to fill. I start to shake, alerting Otnai to my trouble.

"My Prince? What is wrong?" His reaching for me is a common reaction now. Our lying together for the past week has bonded us in an understood commitment with each other. Before he was my servant. Now, we were official lovers. As far as what Havite said it wasn't going over well with the Sheik. It could mean our separation, but as long as we 'performed' for the clients, we were aloud our reward.

Besides, the bastard was watching us most of the time. He would join in as well if the mood hit him, followed closely by Havite. Otnai would reach for my hand as the two fornicated with us, the Sheik on me, Havite on Otnai. When it was done and the Sheik would thank us with gifts. I would soothe Otnai's mood by telling him a story about the stars wrapped up tightly around him, easing him back to me.

That was a problem. Havite somehow made Otnai uneasy. He would breathe a little heavier when Havite was around, and if Havite had sex with him, he was almost closed off to any human contact. It was almost like Havite abused Otnai. But I could feel or hear no such evidence of that. Havite as far as I could tell adored Otnai. He was very proud of the young man. But without fail, as soon as Otnai was near Havite, the young man would almost in a panic, and then he shut down. I was surprised he reached for my hand while the others pounded us hard and longingly. It was almost like I held him in place, kept him from disappearing into his darker self.

My thoughts were guarded but I could feel him reading me as my mind wandered away from my eyes forming to thoughts of him.

"Havite. You have a strange reaction to him. Did he ever hurt you?" I kissed his nose as my hand reached for the softness of his cheek. There, it was out in the open. He would answer me that was his way.

"No!" He bolted up practically pushing me out of the bed. He was breathing heavier, almost with fear as I started to smell a change in him. "It is just, I don't know how to say this." He was panting, sweat pouring off him in panic.

"Hey, I'm sorry, please love come back down to me and let me hold you. Get your thoughts together and then tell me what it is. I'm here for you." I sat up, reaching for his hair to smooth it with my hand. He seemed to like that caress the most, making him coo at me, a very desirable sound.

"No one has ever said they have been here for me." I could feel his unseeing face turn towards me. He gave in to my touch and sank down, seeking my arms. Curling around me again as his heart settled and his breathing relaxed he sighed into my shoulder. "When Havite has me, it seems wrong somehow. I don't know it is. It's like my body goes with it because of the training. But somewhere in my heart, it feels as if it were taboo. I have never told anyone that." I could feel him smile as he said. "Until you came along there was never anyone I could have told that to." Our lips found each other the instant his head went up to find mine.

Soft as the covers below our kisses were. It wasn't long until he was on his back, me draping over him as if I was one of the sheets. Our hunger was always great seeking skin to suck and kiss. I felt his legs part as his mouth told me he was ready again. I was beginning to wonder if there was ever too much of being with a lover. He was easy in ways that none, not even Ianto was. So ready and it wasn't his 'training' that brought him to that place, it was his realization that he was learning how to love.

I loved seeking his warm spot and without much effort or a speck of resistance we were joined. I pushed deep into him, working my tongue around his mouth coaxing a moan out of depth of his throat. He was magic tightening his muscles around me as it pulled out just to plunge back in. To me it was heaven; this is the feeling you get when you have surrendered your heart. It isn't sex then it is love, hot with passion, each giving to the other, words not needed as you close in around each other, the only two in the world for the moment. We focused on our hips grinding together, and then pulling apart, slowly I made my way to his pleasure spot. I brush it lightly, feeling him shiver with the unexpected sensation.

He never before gave into his own desire but now he was demanding. It was like I turned on this man call Otnai for the first time. He gave up the role of servant and grabbed my hips. He pushed his up to meet finding the spot dead on making him call out "Jack" in a loud voice. I didn't try to hush him, just did as he commanded pushing and pulling faster and harder, pounding into him giving him ever inch, every possible amount of pleasure and sensation I could muster.

He bit at my ear before he went for my neck making me cry out his name. We humped like crazy, moving our bodies around the bed in the process. He was furious on my lips; I could feel him quiver as he released under me. I buried my face in to his neck smelling his sweat as I came. I felt lightheaded as I filled him. He shook under me, kneading his body into mine, seeking every last sensation he could. He was quietly moaning still, lost in the ecstasy of our lovemaking.

"That's what this is," I spoke my thoughts out loud. "We just made love." He smiled letting laughter, real happy honest to goodness laughter escaped from him.

"I can feel that! Jack, I will tell you one thing. No one is like you. I feel alive, real with you. I hope to the Gods it never changes." He licked my neck waiting for me to reply.

I for once didn't care if the words never came true. I just loved the way I felt laying on top this man, sweaty and tired from real in love sex. "Me too." Was all I said as we continued are after fuck foreplay.

Shadows started to disrupt my training as I begin to focus on them and the minor light I could see rather than the 'blind man's bluff' technique I was taught. I was compensating as some of the clients were noticing. I covered my tracks and if they were displeased at first, thinking me still not polished in the techniques, the finish left them more than happy. So if they were going to complain, the idea left their brains with my wonderful distractions.

The Sheik when he came to me seemed too drunk to notice my eyes so that was a plus. Havite said something to me though not about my eyes but about Otnai. He was pleased that I was bringing the best out in the young man. It seemed that he was happy for us. I think that was what he meant. Havite came to me a lot more when the Sheik became distracted with the young girl that was given to him in some sort of trade. She was the focus of his attentions. Which was fine by me, for it gave me more time with Otnai. Unless Havite had his way, it seemed that he started to fancy me even more.

"You are so lovely, Jack. You have a matured grace. I'm pleased that despite age your training was a success." I poured him some more wine as he lay on my bed; his hand strayed to my hip touching the skin there. I made myself twitch to the touch. I found myself doing that a lot with Havite. I think it was because of the way Otnai felt around him. I just didn't feel like giving him a natural reaction, so I forced it.

"Thank you, I'm pleased that you are pleased." I moved my hips to indicated how I desired him. I was convinced with my act.

Havite shifted in the bed as his hand reached between my legs. He rubbed me gently almost with care. It felt good despite the unpleasant thoughts that Otnai's reaction to this man brought to my mind. I sighed into the rubbing allowing myself to drift.

"That's it. Let yourself go Jack. I want to make you come. Really come, not the pretending you have been doing. You are good at that, but I want better from you." He moved his free hand around my waist pulling me closer to him. I felt the warmth of his breath on my stomach as he kissed the skin above crotch. His hand wrapped around it tighter, pulling it and tugging just rough enough to hurt slightly but not enough to bother the sensation. I threw my head back as his lips brushed the spot I loved. He kissed around my member into his mouth as he rolled his tongue around the sensitive skin. I lost my balance with the heat rising as I came shamelessly close to orgasm and leaned on his shoulders giving him greater access to my now raging hard on.

Havite was a master of the blowjob. He knew where to use tongue and when to suck me off. He was letting himself sending vibrations through me. His desire danced on the air. He then let go of me in my dazed state and turned me on my hands and knees lost and panting for relief. It wasn't long before he pushed his way into me, hard and fast. The moment he made contact, I knew it wasn't going to be long. He was telling me much the same as he moved in and out of me, groaning each time he leaned in to nip at my ear.

"You are so good, Jack, not another like you. I could get used to this in a good way." He panted loudly sweaty lips brushing on my neck. I began to huff as I allowed him to push deeper in me. Without any warning my mind let the feeling of bliss wash over me as the waves of endorphins caressed my mind, pushing out from with great urgency. Havite let himself fill me, shaking slightly at the powerful emotions the ejaculation sent through him. He fell on my back breathing heavily at first as I lost control of my limbs and let us crash to the bed. He laughed as he kissed my back, rubbing his face into my damp hair.

"So good, Jack. What an amazing power you have and so sweet to the taste. I see now why my son loves you. Otnai and you are perfect for each other."

My heart twisted at Havite's words. Suddenly the world seemed black and cold.

_End Part 6 TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

Otnai was with a client; he would be for the night. I just lay there thinking about the conversation I had with Havite after he let go that Otnai was his son. He was having sex with his own son since he was a boy. Not only that but he had removed his eyes. I wrapped my arms around myself feeling the cold from confusion and dread as the reality of this world wove around me.

Havite snuggled next to me after he told me he had no choice but to sell Otnai. "I am a slave trader now. I have a place not only in the Sheik's bed but in his house as a trainer. He liked the boy, took a fancy to him. So to gain security for my other children, I took my son's eyes and gave his innocence over to my Master. I was asked to train him as well. I know what you are thinking. Most outsiders must think it sick." I shivered again as he caressed my arm trying to warm me and bring me back to him. It was too late for that. All I could do is numbly listen to his gross words as they made me sicker and sicker with each syllable.

"I love my son. Taking him after the Sheik had his way with him was a way of cleansing him." He was rubbing my back as if trying to bring me back to life. I wasn't moving. "Jack, you love him, I can see that. But this is the life we have to get used to. I had no choice as a father and as a man. I had mouths to feed and a wife. They live in comfort and away from the control of the Sheik. You have to understand. We would all be dead if I hadn't given him Otnai. At least he has a life…" He trailed off realizing I wasn't buying any of it.

If I could see, if my eyes were open, this filthy creature would be dead. I started to wretch with the thoughts of what this man did, and then he touched me. I have been around the universe time in and time out again and again but I could not stomach this. I could never harm a child, let alone one of my own.

And then in my mind the image of Steven came before me. I brought him to his death, killed him before his mother. And yes, like Havite I did it to save others. I would never think of fornicating with a child but I was really no different than Havite. Save in that one way. I flipped myself over. He could sense his relief when I decided to face him.

"Why did you even tell me this? You didn't need to really. He was just a boy." I shouted at Havite showing him I had some fight still left in me.

"Because he loves you, you needed to hear it. Do you still love him?" He stroked my lips with his fingers.

I wanted to bite at them but it felt painful in mind and body to act. I remember the words "you are a monster" coming from a young Welsh man. Ianto was right, almost as if he could see the future. The one thing that made me glad he was dead was that he didn't have to watch me kill Steven. It is the one thing he would never know. "Yes, I love him. If you love him then you will help me get out of here with him. I could take him to a place, they could fix his sight, give him eyes again. We could heal all the hurt you caused him. He said that you made him feel taboo when you were with him. Now I know why. He can sense that you are his father, he just doesn't have the words for it." I knew he was watching so I made my eyes move under my lids.

"What the fuck?" He moved his fingers over my eyeballs. "I took them out myself. How the hell do you still have them?" He touched them again making me flinch slightly from the shadows.

"They grew back, I have that power. Didn't you notice how fast I healed?" I asked the prick. Pushing myself up I sat staring at him threw my eye lids. "If you cared about your son, you would fix it so I could see again and let me get him out of here before I kill you." I grabbed his throat and began to choke him.

He didn't struggle it was almost like he wanted to die. When I thought I had gone too far, when he stopped moving all together I let go and pushed him a way. Checking him for a pulse I was rather upset he was still alive. I searched his discarded bedclothes and found his knife.

I was panic breathing, huffing in what felt like cold burning air in my lungs as my heart raced. I must be mad, or just that desperate to get out of here with Otnai. At first it was hard to get my arm and hand to stop shaking as I put the tip of the knife at what felt like the healed shut corner of my eyelid. I breathed in the painful stab of the first slice as it slit my eye open. I held my breath as to not poke the sharp point into the eye. Light took hold as the lid slid open. It was blurry and disjointed at first having not been used in some time, but I saw shapes as my sight slowly returned.

I was sweaty from controlling my reaction to the pain. The next cut to the other eye was not any easier because the now open eye just sent a blurry image to my brain making me overreact. I heard Havite move slightly as he was waking up from his daze. I knew now I had to act fast. A slow movement now could cost me a chance for freedom. I ripped at the other lid banishing the pain deep. With both eyes free my vision straightened out and I could see the contents of the tent more clearly. More importantly, I could see Havite.

At first I thought I was seeing things but as he stirred and took shape to my unused eyes, there was no mistaken. He was the exact double of Ianto.

He stilled again and didn't stir for some time as I sat on the ground leaning on a chair opposite the bed. I repeatedly dabbed my eyes with cold water but Havite's features were not changing. He was tanner than Ianto, older as well but it was him. I was so wrapped up in the fact that Otnai may be a form of my Ianto that I didn't think Havite would be like in face to Ianto. My stomach twisted again in knots as I tried to focus on what the hell was happening. I was worried that the Sheik would walk in or one of the sighted servants looking for Havite. I didn't know if he planned on spending the night with me, since Otnai was not due back until morning. I stood and began pacing. I needed to think and wash myself. I smelled like unpleasant sex with a sick man that looked like Ianto. I still had no idea how long he had been out for. There was no timepiece in the room. Why would there be?

I went for the wine I poured for him. I knew that it wouldn't be laced with anything. So gulping it down I felt calmer, a little more focused. If I could find my coat, with the box hidden inside, I could just leave and not look back. It would work. This was not the right place to be. This was a lie; I was deluded to think that I might have found Ianto again, or in the very least someone to love for some part of my immortal life.

But as the thoughts left my head I knew that I wouldn't leave unless I took Otnai with me. Despite it all, even if he wasn't Ianto, I was in love with him. The kind of love I found came without sight. It was pure and real. I knew it from his heart, his soul that he felt the same.

I heard shuffling outside the tent; it was a servant by the sound of the feet, not light like Otnai or heavy with drink like the Sheik's. I jumped on the bed kissing Havite pretending he was in me. I didn't look up as a woman entered carrying food. She mumbled a sorry or something about disturbing our pleasure, set the table and left. As soon as she was gone I was off the creep that still had not moved. He should have been awake by now. But maybe his own inner demons played with his mind and he was seeing all the wrong he had done. But I had the answer, with the servant bringing food enough for two. Havite was spending the night, which meant I had time to plan. The first thing I did was to try eating some food. I would need strength in mind and body to find a way for this to work.

I sat in the chair waiting opposite the bed for Havite to move. In between thinking, and cooling my eyes with water I manage to rip apart my tent looking for the box along with the greatcoat. And my wrist strap was gone; I prayed it wasn't sold off. I also took inventory of my room. Valuables we may need to get off planet or weapons that my help if we had to fight our way out. I also found something to wear that wasn't so demeaning. It seemed that my wrap was just enough to cover me. I couldn't even check myself out in it; there were no mirrors in the room. Again why should there be?

The material was see- through; I should have guessed that but lighter in look than it felt. Outside of all my new clothes there was only one simple tunic in white linen that was presentable; it came with a pair of shorts that were barely seen from underneath the skirt. I also found the slippers I wore in between tents. Shoes were not worn in tents not even sandals were allowed. I didn't care about those rules; I was on my way out the door. What sucked was there was nothing in this tent to barter and trade with. I was getting frustrated.

I was becoming aware of time passing. I didn't know how long Havite planned on staying after sunrise. Otnai would time it so he came back when Havite left give or take 10 to 15 minutes. Was he waiting outside for him to leave or was it just the way things happened? I had to think; I didn't know what to do now that my eyesight was back. Everything was out of whack and I was beginning to get a headache from taking in too much at once. If only I could rest just for a moment, but I knew that was impossible. I had to think about where Havite would go next, and how to get Otnai back in the tent. I relaxed my thoughts by wrapping the fruit up and some of the food to take with us in case we could escape. I also bundled some clothes and blankets together using some of the pillowcases around. Putting it all together I found some cord to tie around the package to make a backpack allowing my hands to be free. I wasn't even sure that these people had weapons. They obviously didn't fear a doped up blind man. I also had no experience with seeing these people. I have hoped the guards were blind. I let a little mad man's laugh out waking my guest.

Havite stirred, trying to sit up. I was on him in a second pushing him down as I stared into Ianto's eyes. I was never going to get over this. I shook slightly trying fighting for control. I wanted to harm this man.

He gasped, struggling slightly when he saw me staring back at me. I covered his mouth clamping my legs around him so he couldn't move. He must have still been winded as he gave up the fight very fast. He nodded as if omitting defeat. "I'm going to ask you a few things and you better tell me the truth. It may be the only way that you can stay alive after what you did to your son."

His Ianto eyes looked into my more than likely messed up ones wide with fear. He knew I meant business. I asked my first question. "How does Otnai know when you leave, and what can I do to get him back to the tent?" I unclamped my hand.

"He hears me hum a certain note that only I can do. Jack, you were telling the truth, your eyes, they grew back. How can that be? I hated to do it to you; really there is no love in my actions just necessity and survival. They are stunning eyes. But when you were brought here, the Sheik wanted you. It is the only way we could have you stay and save your life." He continued to look in to my eyes. He was being honest; there was no lie inside his eyes.

"Where are the things I had on when you found me? My leather strap I had on my wrist, there was my coat and in the coat was a box. Where are they?" I shook him slightly. He moaned a little being still weak from me choking him.

"The Sheik may still have them, I don't know. You really want to leave? There is nothing out there for you." In his mind, his life, he believed this.

"You're wrong. There is plenty out there." My own words echoed in my head and sunk in. "I want to take Otnai with me, right now against my better judgment I need your help." I got off him pulling him with me.

He began to cry, like a man defeated. I couldn't tell if it was in fear or regret that he let down his guard. "Okay, it is the least I can do for my sins. Yes, I know it was all sin but mine, not his. Otnai is pure of this. Other wise how could love find him?" His watery Ianto like eyes sought out some form of forgiveness in mine. But like Alice turning away from me when I asked the same of her, I looked the other way. There was no way I could forgive him, not yet maybe not ever.

"Go to the tent and call him here. Then you are going to go to the Sheik's tent and get my things back. I will take your son out of here when you return. You will make sure we get away. Do I make my self clear?" I grabbed him revealing my true strength. He showed his fear as he shook his head yes. "Because I will show no more mercy if you screw this up!" I growled watching him shrink back in terror.

He went to the door and called Otnai home. I stood waiting for him, watching to see what he looked like. Excitement danced around my stomach as his footsteps came closer. Havite stood away from the entrance awaiting instructions, watching to see my reaction to his son.

My heart stopped as Otnai made his appearance. He was Ianto as well, more so then his father. His hair was blacker, straighter and he was so dark with his tanned skin but it was Ianto. I lost control as I went to him pulling him towards me kissing his face, his empty eyelids. The warmth that surrounded us was void of the fear I felt before.

He smiled at the welcome and then with his keen inner sight he uttered the words. "Something has happened, hasn't it?"

_End Part 7 TBC_


	8. Chapter 8

His face lifted up to mine in a question. I just caressed his cheek and told him. "I'm getting you out of here. We are leaving. Otnai, I have my eyes back. I'm not like you, and I have a special ability." I left it there. We didn't have the time for details. I wasn't sure how much time we had.

He reached for my eyes, feeling them under his fingertips. For an instant he pulled back.

"I can't leave; you know that, I have no knowledge out there." He looked unseeing at my face. As if he was trying to hear some subtle change his gaze shifted to Havite's feet moving forward.

"Otnai, listen to Jack, you are not safe here, neither of you are. I will get you a horse, better traveling clothes and water. I have a map that will guide you to the city. You can find transportation out of here. It is the least I can do for causing you such a disservice." He bowed slightly, not wanting to tell his son the whole truth. Otnai tilted his head and sadly smiled.

And then the words came out of his mouth. "Father, you would do that for us? The Sheik will kill you."

Both of us looked at one another in silence, making Otnai to smirk a little. "Yes I knew, how could I not? Even when we… I knew who you were. I still don't know what the word father is supposed to mean. But I guess in your way, you stayed to look after me. I guess in your own way…" He was silent as his face showed all the emotions going through him. It was a face that had so much of his father, which held so much of Ianto it made the heart ache.

"Otnai, you should have said something. My son, forgive me for my treatment of you. You can begin by leaving with Jack and starting a real life. I know he loves you, I see it in his eyes." Havite stared at me. He was telling me I had to make the decision.

"I'm going on your word that you won't betray us. Go get the supplies and make it quick." Havite bowed again, brushing Otnai lightly before he left. Otnai just held his head down, not reacting.

"He won't betray us; he will lose face with me if he does. He already did that to me once; he won't risk the Gods' wrath again. There is a tracking device on the saddles so we have to make sure it is disabled, he won't know about it. I just happen to have that information. I make it a hobby to know everything, my hearing is very good." He smiled and for a moment I felt like Ianto was there. I wrapped my arms around him, holding onto him for an instant. He was the one that broke away.

"We should take what we can. Something you need to know, I brought most of my stuff here and hid the tips I made over time." He went to his hiding spot all the while telling me a story. "The clients would sometimes be generous and give rewards in jewelry and cash. I have no idea how much it is worth, I do know that some of the things are real. I was taught by one client that stayed here a month and was fond of me the difference in gold and silver, a ruby to a diamond by taste. I thought he was mad but he was really teaching me this." He stopped to retrieve the bag from under a panel in a drawer. He then walked over to me and presented it. "It isn't much. But it is a start."

"You are amazing, you know that?" Havite, returning with proper clothes interrupted our kiss. He also had a horse, more food and water and he handed me another bag of what felt like coins.

"It is all I have. Take it as you take my son to a better life. The camp is still asleep. In an hour the Sheik will come to you, having had a bad night with his woman, he will be in need for release and you Jack, are his favorite right now. I will stay and wait for him to try and hold him off. I will watch for guards to make sure you get out of the camp. You will go to the outer most southern part of the camp. It is there that the guards are less. I was able to retrieve your coat. The box you speak of is in one of the pockets. I'm ashamed to say, the coat was given to me. Sorry for any inconvenience of not speaking of it earlier. You should not get on the horse for the weight of you two will deepen the prints until you are a good 200 paces from the camp. By then the guards will be up and within 15 minutes they will for a look."

"How will we cover the prints once we ride?" I looked at both father and son while I quickly dressed in desert fashion putting the light cloth over my head.

It was Otnai who smiled, slipping the coat around his thin form. "The sand storms will hit here about a half hour after we leave. Father has us also heading away from the storms so we will be able to ride out. The course of the day many such storms will hit, I can feel that. We will be safe from them finding us." He was putting his hood on signaling he was ready to leave.

Havite was there in front of his son. "Godspeed, little one. May you find happiness away from this land. Jack, love him and keep him safe."

I shook his hand waiting to see if Otnai would react to him. It was a quick just more than I think he deserved but Otnai leaned in and kissed his father on both cheeks. "Thank you," he whispered and we were gone.

Our escape covered, I had a bad feeling that Havite wasn't going to live much longer. Otnai was quiet as he slipped up behind me on the horse. "Hey, it is okay. I'm sure this must feel strange, not having left the camp at all," I told him.

He caved into my back wrapping his arms around my middle. With a rub of his head against the material he spoke. "I'm not so much nervous but filled with wonderment. I think you call it excited. Well my Prince, let's go."

The horse flew with great strides out of the site of the camp heading south into the unknown.

As predicted, the storms blew past us as we rode safely away from the tented world of Otnai's captivity. Along the way I was able to tell him about my plans. He seemed more than eager as we rode through the Great Sands further and further away from the hell that was most of his life. I found him to be full of questions and had most of the answers for me as well.

"How do you know so much about this city Anerenet? " I asked when he started to rattle off facts about it.

"The Sheik was very good at teaching me things. When I was his favorite he spent hours talking to me of his plans. He talked about how someday he could return there for good. As soon as he fulfilled his contract he would be able to move back. He was going to clean up financially with finding the source of power; he called it Senaie, a substance that produces energy for ships. Stop! I smell water, Jack to the right in that cave!"

"I couldn't see that sighted. You're good." Sure enough there was a cave. I took the flashlight out of my greatcoat to see by. Well for me to see by. I was still in need of my eyes. By the looks of it, the cave was big and roomy as we found out while guiding the horse in. I kept grabbing onto Otnai out of instinct, thinking he may not be so sure footed as in the camp.

He swatted me away. "Unless you're the one having trouble walking, I think I can manage. There are things called bats, yes? You've heard of them?"

"Yes and I see what your saying. I guess being raised blind you would have a sonar sense of some kind. Sorry." I still didn't let go of his hand. I brought it to my lips, kissing it. "I still want to hold your hand. It is what people do for pleasure as well as to stick together."

He smiled, breathing in deep. "Up ahead, can't you hear, oh and the smell, Jack? Really, fresh water." He let go, running ahead avoiding stones and obstacles that were under foot and in the way. I let the light follow him watching his graceful steps barely touch sand.

I chased after him, dragging the horse with me. Skidding to a halt, I let the light fall from my hands as the sight before me registered. All around us was light that lit the interior of the cave. Inside was housed an indoor oasis. There were soft green plants that grew around the pool of clean, very clear water that was being filtered by the churning of a waterfall that reached to the ceiling high above where the light from the sun came through. It seemed soft, not hot but the cave was not cool either, it seemed to be the right temperature. "My dear Gods, as you would say, Otnai is this paradise?"

"I heard rumors of places like this, where it seems the Gods hid caches only used for their pleasures. Jack, dare we stay?" He looked at me. I could tell he wished he could see now, not just what this place looked like with its flowers in shades of pinks, blues and yellows to the water that looked like diamonds below coming from a fall of sapphires. Even the sand here seemed like gold with ruby glitter mixed in.

I removed my clothes and was standing before him naked. He sensed this and did the same. I watched his body for the first time as I saw it naked before me. He was every bit of Ianto and more. I didn't reach for him for fear he would vanish so I just held my breath.

"Yes we dare, it can be our home, for as long as we want." He moved his powerful legs towards me padding on the sand, shifting his hips in elegance. It was his training showing through. I didn't mind, I was the only that would be touching him from now on.

My breath stopped as he stood right in front of me, his dark hair with streaks of gold from being in the sun. I stroked his soft mane, curling it behind his ears as it dropped drown to touch his slim tanned shoulders. His arms, like his legs were well defined strong due to necessity. My eyes took in what only my hands had felt. I fell to my knees before him burying my head into his soft down fluff of hair below his belly button. He seemed flustered for the moment, as I became his servant sniffing at his strong scent that was touched with a little desert odor from our fast ride here. I heard the horse whinny as it found the pool. It just drank. My first thought that paradise was a trick and the water would be undrinkable. But the horse stomped its hoof once before it went to eat some of the moss and greens around the pool. There in the sand on my knees, I served Otnai.

He pulled my hair a little as he took to his new role so well. I sucked and licked him in a nice sweet slow way while he huffed above trying to stay in control. He was out of his element now and he was enraptured with the new experience. This must have felt very virginal to him. He swooned slightly for he was close. He stayed my head's movement and lifted me up to meet his face.

He took my mouth, running his tongue over my lips and teeth to taste himself. He slipped down my body, sending a stab of pleasure to my brain. I felt the slight twinge of desire as his teeth nipped and applied a tender swipe of his tongue. I watched him progress with slit eyes careful not to move him, he was doing fine without any assistance. I wet my lips and throwing back my head with a soft little moan as he worked his throat muscles to my advantage. He had me slipping into the sounds of the waterfall as he brought on waves of pleasure. I wasn't even close but his magic mouth gave me more than a fast end.

But all good things end and I stopped him from anymore bits of heaven. My body screamed out for me to be inside him, safe and warm, no longer alone. This was what Ianto felt like, if the world hadn't hurt him. I pulled Otnai to me.

"We can stay here, this place was made for us. It has waited for us to find each other and be together." He moaned into my kiss, his flesh hot with yearning. It was rougher this time, built on passion as we collided into each other's mouths, biting here, nipping there. We grew restless standing as our bodies fell against each other finding new heights in gratification with each passing moment. We fought for control, gave into each other as. I closed my eyes to smell him, tasting the salt off his skin before we turned together to walk into the water.

It was warm, perfect for us as we swam around bumping into each other. Otnai became playful, splashing me in the face and spitting water out of his perfect mouth. I splashed him back and dove under him in play. He returned the game stopping under the water to caress me. His smile was so dazzling. He was part of this oasis. It was must have been made for him.

He sought out my body; putting his arms round my neck he hoisted his torso up bringing his legs around my waist. He rested for a moment before we both surged forward. I yelled at the collision, it felt so right. He for the most part bore it in silence, moving his hips selfishly seeking his g spot before returning to my mouth for more kisses.

"My prince, this is nothing like that old life. Jack, thank you for my life. I feel so real now. Jack, I love you." He found my mouth as he mounted me harder. He forced himself deeper as I aided him. It was too much a new thing not for it to be quick. I wasn't ashamed, just happy. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't thinking of the dead, just the living, as he rested his head on my shoulder as we bobbed up and down in the water.

The words I love you came from him easily. In my heart of hearts I knew it to be true. And for the first time in a long time they left my mouth when the returned "I love you as well," left my lips with a kiss.

Many weeks passed in our cave. We had all the means of life provided it was indeed a paradise for there was food and water and we had each other. We took turns creating things. Despite his lack of sight Otnai was very clever with sighted things. We found plants that we could use as dyes and paints. He took to it like a fish in water. He would paint the stories I told him on the walls around us. I would make sure he didn't paint over areas but for the most part he would mark where he left off. Despite his blindness, he could paint what he saw. I would watch him for hours as I worked to build or create something we needed. Of course, sometimes it would get interrupted when we would have to make love.

We were never bored, alone or without something to talk about as the months went by. It was then I pulled the box out of the greatcoat and looked at it. I thought about what could happen if I went through the light with Otnai. If he weren't my Ianto then what would happen? We could go through the portal and get separated. Or we could end up back in Cardiff to a stuffy city. I don't think we could last there as a couple. There was too much noise for him to feel comfortable. Then there was the chance that I would go through the light and he would remain alone to spend his days in this cave until death.

I watched him rub the horse down with a brush I made from a coarse reed like plant that grew in the cave. He felt me look at him and he smiled. "Have you made your choice?" He said as if he watched all the different choices play over my face. I should have known that nothing would slip past him.

"Yeah I have." I took the box and buried it near one of the rocks with an original Otnai on it. If he wasn't Ianto, then so be it. Ianto could wait if he was out there. I would find him someday. Right now I was going to spend time with Otnai. That was where my heart belonged.

_The End_


End file.
